About Me

Trauma

I am interested in how we are affected by overwhelming, traumatic experiences of various kinds. I am also here for people who simply want to live more fully in the present, learning from their own experiences.

When I was young, I asked my mother what my birth was like — easy or hard. She said she didn’t know; she was asleep during it. A few years ago, I investigated this and found that at the time I was born, it was common practice for doctors to give laboring mothers anesthesia. If she was asleep, so was I. It is bewildering to realize that at the most exciting moment of my very new life, I was forced to sleep.

It explains why, when I feel upset or stressed, I check out — I disappear. I learned it prenatally. The first time I felt myself disappear was a shock. I was engaged in a conversation, became a little agitated. Next thing I knew, I was making a shopping list — gone.

I learned that early trauma can affect the rest of your life. A friend encouraged me to study Somatic Experiencing (SE™) — a healing modality that focuses on developing resilience. After three years of study and a lot of inner work, my capacity to stay present began to increase. I could remain engaged in life.

I also found great solace working with others and discovering the potential that SE offers to those who wish to explore. This seems particularly poignant as one faces the end of life: what can I let go of that prevents me from transitioning peacefully? Working together helps us both heal.

As a Writer

I found my way back to writing after a long period of disquiet. After years of sitting and meditating, I discovered that it is possible to meditate with a pen in hand. I write a word, which becomes a sentence or a thought to be pondered and developed. There is no such thing as a bad word — just a word in transition.

In the process, I become more clear and see where the inner bumps are. Now I delight in writing stories, articles, emails, and mostly poems.

Art, Music & More

When I was young and unable to concentrate, I doodled — in the margins, on homework papers, gum wrappers. This morphed into drawing which expanded into various forms of art: papercutting, alcohol ink, pressed flowers, knitting, zendoodles, photography, and more.

I find humor in an icicle turned upside down or a flower greatly enlarged. I look for design in the accidental drip of marbling paper. I particularly like it when someone asks what a piece was before I played with it — it means I have successfully transformed what we all thought we knew into something new. All the pictures on this website are mine.

Music

Wounded by an early piano teacher and reinvented by a later one — I came to music in my own time. I love to play and create lines of melody, improvise on the piano, and find what touches the heart. There is pleasure in playing with others too — working through a piece that is complex and compelling, reaching the end in spent delight, only to do it all over again.

Into the Quiet

Why am I here in this life? Who am I when I keep changing moment to moment? What is truth and how would I know it? These questions have driven me most of my life. I have been wandering through many teachings: Martin Buber, Thomas Merton, Buddhism, and more. Meditation has played a big part of my search, and that has changed over the years.

Today, I am exploring how to keep the body and sensation as a teacher — to be mindful of the changes, and curious about what is next. The body knows much more than I give it credit for.

Curiosity

Today, I love to be curious. Pull off the side of the road to check something out. It is a quality of wonderment I felt as a child. I am curious about others — your process, your talents, your stuck places, your aspirations.

I have lost loved ones, switched careers three times, retired, had children and watched them leave the nest. I have been married to a Deaf person for over 40 years, and we have worked to combine two cultures into one home. All of it is an adventure. There is no good life or bad life — just Life, waiting to be seen.